Bourbon Barrel-Aged Arrogant Bastard

I awake from a slumber that’s been anything but peaceful. I don’t take kindly to idling and I am anything but neutral. Life has nothing to do with killing time, and the knowledge that months have passed since the onset of my sequestering in this pitch-black oaken tomb (albeit a barrel flush with brilliant aromas of vanilla and char) does not sit well. But then comes a tingle followed by rejuvenating warmth, signs that something is different…something has changed…and for the better. I feel stronger yet somehow more nimble and refined. I feel even more self-assured, and my vision for what is good and right, honest and true, is as laser-sharp as the brawny, bawdy, liquid Arrogance that shall further advance my battle against all things mediocre and geared toward the lowest common denominator. I have been born anew and, in the process, anointed with vibrant, inspiring, previously unexperienced character, all while maintaining everything I am and have always been—bold, bullish, unadulterated, and yes, Arrogant. Are you Worthy of quaffing a beverage of this intensity, irreverence and quality craftsmanship? Not likely, but for those who “get it,” I know my time in this bourbon barrel has not been wasted. Cheers to you, enlightened imbiber. On second thought, cheers to me!